On Friday, a woman was described to me this way: “She was the kind of person who never turned down an invitation. She said if she did, they might stop asking.” I’ve seen that from both sides. I’ve stopped asking people that continually turn me down. I’ve also been the one to repeatedly turn down invitations and eventually stop getting asked.
It was in this spirit that I accepted an invitation yesterday. I am currently on the Rhode Island shore about to start my stint being the sous-chef for vacationing sisters (women religious) and their friends. Some of my best trips have been planned while I’m on a current trip. So yesterday, when a friend left a voicemail proposing another trip, I immediately called her back and accepted. “I’ve booked a hotel outside of Boston for next Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. I know you love Boston, so thought I’d see if you wanted to join me,” she said in her voicemail. This works out quite well as I’m here in RI (only two hours from Boston) until Saturday. I’ll couchsurf on Saturday night, then meet her on Sunday.
Here’s another thing about invitations: I love that someone else already did all the planning and just wants me to join them. People have the idea in their heads that I love to plan things. This isn’t entirely true. I plan because I have to: I’m single. I like traveling. I like changing jobs. I like moving. If I want to do something, there’s only one person to do the planning: me. In fact, when people ask what I want in a guy my answer is “Someone who can take the initiative and plan dates!” It’s sad how rare this is.
In fact, one of the things I liked most about the last guy I dated was his ability to plan. When we went out to dinner, there was none of that “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know – where do you want to go?” Nope. This guy had it all figured out. “I was thinking we’d go to Hidden Cellar tonight,” he’d say. I could accept or deny, at which point he would have a back up plan. He knew me well enough that when I said, “I’m in the mood for a good salad” he knew the restaurant that had my favorite salad, and he’d propose that. I can’t tell you what joy this whole scenario brought me. A man who plans. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for another one of those. But in the meantime, the girlfriend who spontaneously books a trip to Boston will do just fine:)