The Hunger

When life gets to a point where I’m kept from doing the things I love, something has to change.  Such is why I haven’t written in so long – other things got in the way.  All of my own choosing, of course.  But oh how I wish I had a little machine into which I could insert a new idea and it could say, “Your plate is too full – try again later.”  But that machine is me.  I am supposed to be the one able to make such decisions.  But something I’ve re-learned lately: you are who you are.  And always will be.  You have to learn to work with what you’ve got.

What I’ve got is an ever growing list of things I’d like to try.  What I’ve got is a hunger for something new that pops up at unpredictable times.  It’s a patient hunger, but only to a point.  It’s been patient for the last six months or so (has it been longer?).  And it’s okay with being patient until I move to NC for four months next August.  But it wants something before that. Something to hold it over.

I’m trying to temporarily satiate it, but the things I feed it are not the things it really wants.  And it backfires.  Trying to keep the animal fed is an exhausting job if what I’m feeding him is never satisfying.  But the animal doesn’t speak in words – so he can’t just come out and tell me what he wants.  But if I just listen…take the time to just listen…he might actually tell me in a language that doesn’t involve speaking.